Roots & Wings group helps foster kids start life on their own

By Lorraine Ash, Daily Record

Miguel Truesdale could hardly believe his good fortune the first night he slept in his own one-room apartment in Rockaway.

"My last experience was at the Covenant House in Newark, where there's five people to a room," said Truesdale, who aged out of the foster care system in 2002. "When I set foot in here and signed the contract and I was alone, I just laid on my bed and closed my eyes and I didn't hear anybody. It was nice."

Miguel Truesdale waits for a Lakeland bus in the bitter cold en route to a therapy appointment in Denville. Photo by Tyson Trish / Daily Record

Dressed in sweatpants and an oversized white T-shirt, he sat back in the chair at his own dining table, big enough for two, and contentedly held his hands across his chest. "That door," he said, pointing, "if I decide to lock it, nobody is going to come in here." In all his 20 years, this little place is the first haven Truesdale has had to himself. He will have it rent-free for two years, anyway, thanks to hooking up with Roots & Wings, a 4-year-old Morris County nonprofit and mostly volunteer group dedicated to supporting foster youth like Truesdale who have little, if any, help in embarking on life's journey as adults.

In those two years the group, which nurtures its clients even as it demands responsibility from them, hopes to give Truesdale his "wings."

The young man, who describes himself as "half black, half white," was born in North Carolina but could not stay with his parents. From age 1 to 5 he lived in 15 group and foster homes in his native state and remembers snippets of life from a few.

"The last one was a farm and they had pigs," he said. "One day I came out and there were no more pigs and I didn't know where they went, but I had good bacon." He smiled. "That was a good day."

At some point in his boyhood he came to New Jersey to stay with extended family - cousins in Parsippany, but eventually the New Jersey Division of Youth and Family Services, or DYFS, moved him to St. Peter's Village in Denville, a home for boys who are deprived, abandoned or neglected. While there he made some acquaintances, appreciated the reward structure for good behavior and graduated from Morris Knolls High School in Denville

After that, though, the young man - like some 800 other 18-year-old foster kids in New Jersey who are cut loose from the system every year - found it difficult to make his way in the world. Medicaid covers him until he is 21, but there were many other necessities out of his grasp. There were rough times.

He tried studying culinary arts at Hudson County Community College but lost access to the relative's car he drove to get there and had to drop out.

On one job in a hospital he got in trouble because, as he was delivering a food tray to a patient, a staffer started yelling at him in Spanish. When he did not respond - he does not speak Spanish - the staffer accused him of belligerence. Afterwards he discovered his boss had hired him assuming he was bilingual because of his name.

"When I was born," he explained, "my mother saw lighter skin so she said, 'OK. Miguel.' What can you do?"

After some drifting and unsuccessful attempts at living arrangements, Truesdale wound up living at Covenant House, a youth shelter in Newark, and working at a nearby KFC. His luck turned when he hooked up with Roots & Wings and the Rockaway apartment.

To date, Roots & Wings has helped six youth, realizing the dream of Executive Director Irene deGrandpre of Mountain Lakes, a court-appointed special advocate for children who developed a personal relationship with a foster teen and found out how hard their lives can be.

The program - unusual in the state, according to DYFS Independent Living Coordinator Nancy Kaplan - offers each eligible youth it accepts a place to stay, life skills training and a lot of guidance by way of a caseworker, therapist and personal mentor.

"Not all kids who graduate from DYFS can do this," said Joan DeVries of Morristown, Roots & Wings vice president. "There are a lot of kids who would like to be in the program but cannot. We have turned away six children in the past year because we didn't feel they were suitable or because they changed their minds."

The very thing that so entranced Truesdale on his first night alone - independence and quiet - scares some youth. It makes them tense, DeVries said. Someday the group hopes to open a living facility so that clients can live alone and still have the benefit of each other's company.

Successful candidates must prove they've been drug-free for three months, she added. They also must show the kind of initiative and promise that makes successful independent living likely.

Truesdale proved himself to Roots & Wings during his time at Covenant House.

"Covenant House told us he was such a high-performing client it was time for him to leave," DeVries said. "They needed the space for a needy client. At that point we hustled to find him an apartment."

Like all four Roots & Wings apartments, scattered across Morris County, Truesdale's is near public transportation, allowing him to take a bus to most places he needs to go. Not always conveniently or economically, but he makes it to his destinations.

One of his current jobs is at an assisted living facility in Boonton.

"The bus I have to take to get there charges $4.50 every time you want to go one way," he said. "That's $9 a day when I'm making $8 an hour. Not working that many hours, I find it hard to get there and pay the $100 program fee I owe Roots & Wings every month. So I'm looking for another job around this area."

No matter what troubles and challenges Truesdale finds in establishing himself, having a home and a small group of people to guide him - a mentor, caseworker and therapist, all through Roots & Wings - makes a big difference.

Here and there in his pristine apartment are pictures. Of him and an old girlfriend. Of his sisters down in North Carolina. "I love them," he said, "but I don't really know them." Of his Parsippany cousin, years ago, getting a piggyback ride from his father."

On a recent visit, DeVries asked, "Miguel, is that you and your dad?"

His answer came swiftly. "Absolutely not."

During the last six months Truesdale already has many rituals and routines that ground and relax him. Although he rides the bus and works whenever he can and likes to play basketball with the guys on Thursday nights using a free membership donated by the Lakeland Hills Family YMCA, he stays home a lot. Not only because he does not have a car - they're so expensive and, besides, his license is suspended - but because, at last, he can settle down and stay put.

On his dining table are two woven place mats in shades of beige, orange and yellow. A big thick candle in the same colors stands in its center. In his tiny kitchen, boxes of cereal, Spanish rice and peanut butter, and other staples, are neatly arranged.

His high school diploma, one of his prized possessions, sits on his neat dining table, a reminder of accomplishment. It stands right next to a picture of a young man framed with a memory card that reads "In Loving Memory of Benjamin Lazarus, Sept. 9, 1983-Sept. 21, 1999."

"He was at St. Peter's with me," Truesdale said. "He passed away there. He had just turned 17. I always keep his picture up just to remind me that I'm not promised tomorrow."

Every night his kitchen fills with aromas. Truesdale loves to cook, a skill he has been practicing since he was little.

"I'd come home," he recalled, "and there'd be nobody there, so I cooked for myself."

Sometimes at St. Peter's he got to cook for himself, and during his years there he took some cooking classes at Morris County School of Technology in Denville. One recent afternoon he colored a generous serving of rice with Sazon, a Spanish seasoning, chopped and sautéed a big white onion, and defrosted and cooked a chicken breast in his "favorite thing."

"I love my George Foreman Grill," he said, laughing, "and also my good knife set, a good luck gift from my Case Assessment Review Team."

In the quiet of his own place, and with the help of Roots & Wings workers, he is getting his life together and, he said, realizing that he likes himself.

"My best relationship now is with myself," he said. "I push myself and I just focus on the goals I need to get done. I'm a funny guy. I'm easy-going, and now I try not to have too much drama. Drama is bad. The most effective way to not have any problems - and I've had problems - is to just have everything running smoothly."

Instead of wondering where he will be tomorrow, he is starting to envision his own future as a person who works with children and reaching out for it. Stephanie Roth, a part-time caseworker for Roots & Wings and its only paid staffer, works with Truesdale, and the other clients closely, helping them to achieve practical goals. The two of them are now working on his application to County College of Morris in Randolph. If he gets in, Truesdale wants to take advantage of the New Jersey Foster Care Scholars program recently announced by Gov. James McGreevey. It guarantees foster youths who qualify free tuition.

"Miguel is definitely succeeding," said the twentysomething Roth, of Mountain Lakes. "He's taking everything he can get from us, which is good."

Like all Roots & Wings clients, Truesdale is obliged, by signed contract, to uphold his end of the bargain, too. The terms are firm. For one thing, cohabitation is not allowed and a youth must even get permission for a sibling to stay overnight.

Clients must be in school or working, one or the other full time; open and maintain a savings account; create and follow a budget; pay that $100 monthly program fee; pay utility, food, clothing and other expenses; maintain phone service; pay all debts incurred; follow all laws; abide by property owner rules; meet annually with the Roots & Wings board of trustees and regularly with a mentor, therapist and caseworker.

Currently, the Roots & Wings annual budget is $60,000, most of which pays the rent on the four modest apartments for clients. It receives no government money and is sustained solely by donations and grants. Yet the organization hopes to grow.

"Roots & Wings was created because a group of people saw a need and jumped in, which is amazing," said Kaplan, of DYFS. "I'll state the obvious. If other people would do this, it'd be great. Kids we've known for years are leaving care and Aftercare programs now and we're frightened for them because this population is vulnerable."

For the meantime, Truesdale is just happy to have the chance to plug away at his goals. He has no option, he said, but to succeed.

"I've come to the realization that this is the last shot here," he said. "I just have to make this work. What else do I have?"

Lorraine Ash can be reached at lvash@gannett.com or (973) 428-6660.